Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Randomize
