i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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