Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
