ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
