they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize