I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
