If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Randomize
