She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Randomize