We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Randomize
