Well douche your snatch and let's go!
so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
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