so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
