he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize
