Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
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