So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Randomize
