Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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