i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
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