She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
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