i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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