Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
