what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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