the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
He called his prostate his "boner button".
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Randomize
