too bad you live with your parents still
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
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