Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
