He disabled his match.com account in front of me
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
