I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
