I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Randomize
