I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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