He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Randomize