dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
