went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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