Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Randomize
