i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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