omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
