apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
