I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
