Kiss
Puke
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Randomize