I feel great
I just peed on a car
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
Randomize
