The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
No subtext here. People are naked.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize