Apparently you make a good broom.
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
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