oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Randomize
