Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
