I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
