Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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