just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Randomize