dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Randomize
