"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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