Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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