super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
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