I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Randomize
