Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
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