i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Randomize
