A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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