"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
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