Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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