not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
Randomize