woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
You dont lie about slip and slides
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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