Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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