dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
