what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Randomize
