Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
Who wears a wallet chain?!
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
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