dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
So squirting runs in the family.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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