i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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