On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Dear god my vagina.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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