I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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