i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
