belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Two words: nipple clamps
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