but the lizard people decide everything anyway
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
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