now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Randomize
