but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
