Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
I forgot how hot balto sounded
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Randomize
