you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
